Tuesday, July 31, 2007

"don't cry because it's over. smile because it happened."-dr. seuss

so today is my "leaving the dc life" anniversary. i don't know why i feel the need to reminisce so often, but i do. i'm attached to my memories. it's so glorious that we can relive a moment solely through remembrance. i can look back and see how i've changed, or maybe how i've stayed the same.

i see those who were permanent fixtures of my everyday, who have now faded into the background. then, there are those who have remained; who are actually brighter than they might have been when we were together. you truly gain an appreciation for those who "knew" you; the real you. i miss them. i feel as if i have changed in this past year, and not necessarily for the best. i created this persona (or maybe i really was the persona?) in dc, the person i thought was me and i feel as if i have lost her somehow. the problem is, i don't know how and i'm not sure how to get her back, but those who knew me still believe i'm the same.

this is all sounding more melancholy and tragic than i meant for it to be. i remember driving away, seeing those well-known sites that still took my breath away, knowing they would no longer be a part of my world. but i was ready. i was ready to close that chapter and begin a new one. though i often open it up again so as to see familiar faces and recall the experiences that led me to starting anew.

Friday, July 27, 2007

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."-walt whitman

i guess that maybe i shouldn't have a blog, since not writing regularly somewhat defeats the purpose...

this morning i was thinking about friendship. it's actually something i think about frequently.

abundance. that is my first thought when it comes to friendship. my entire life has been filled with others who have taught, stretched, and enlightened me. i have had friends who always make me laugh; others who understand me better than i understand myself; ones who "challenge" me, in more ways than one; and those who have loved me unconditionally.

what makes friendship something we seek out? something i seek out? i need others. i realized that more and more with the passing days.

i have become the woman who i am partly due to those who have been a part of my life thus far. i guess i want to thank all who graced my life with their presence, whether it was for a short period of time, or those who are still here with me.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

my favorite things...or maybe just books

today the new york times has a reader's opinion sparked by harry potter asking: "what were your favorite books when you were a kid?" though in my heart of hearts i feel that i am still 11 years old, alas, i am not. but just for today i'm going to relive my childhood favorites.

here's my (abbreviated) list of favorites (as far as i can remember...):

the giving tree: i actually still have the copy i received when i was about 7. friendship has been a fundamental part of my life. every time i moved from one new place to another i cried my sad little girl tears and thought i'd never recover. i think this is why i loved (and still do)this book. the unconditional love the tree shows for the boy and silverstein's simplicity on the subject will be eternally touching.

bridge to terabithia-this novel carries the same type of message as the previous and the two following: friendship and it's lasting effects. it taught me what friends are truly for and how the people we select (or who select us) as friends will help mold us into who we will become.

where the red fern grows- who doesn't love this book? pretty much the same thoughts as with bridge to terabithia.

a cricket in times square-just a beautiful book. i still have the copy i had as a child of this one as well.

the lion, the witch and the wardrobe- i'm pretty certain it has been enchanting children since the day it was published. i heart cs lewis, his characters, his themes, and his way of truly creating a make believe world that as a child, i believed could actually exist.

a wrinkle in time- another enchanting book. though i do not read much fantasy nowadays, there is something about reading that genre as a child. maybe it's because our young minds are more receptive to creativity? maybe we are more likely to believe in the "unbelievable?"

choose your own adventure- man, i miss these books. there was such excitement and anticipation when reading these books. i loved the idea of having some responsibility in the resolution of the plot. genius idea, and i only wish kids read these more now. do they?

the little prince- is it possible to love a character as much as i love the little prince? i loved his simple comprehension of life. maybe it was because i felt as if he understood it as i did. i only wish we could hold on to more of that childlike perception.

i really could go on and on. the more i sit and think about what i read as a child, the more i want to add to this list. it's actually been lovely to revisit the past in this way. it's different than just reminiscing. i do believe that the books we read as children become a part of us and stay with us always. i think that may be why i love reading so much. the indelible impressions books leave on the soul makes me feel alive, it makes me feel connected to something greater than myself.

Monday, July 16, 2007

a new day, a new beginning

i have been thinking about the ability to start anew. it is one of my favorite things about life. i can create a disaster in one day, but have a fresh start the next. i can be sullen, melancholy, or just exhausted, however, once i slumber, i awake to a new day, a new beginning. what a fascinating and blessed aspect of living.

and on this day of thoughts filled with new beginnings, i have had ee cummings in my head. maybe because my mind has been pondering all the beautiful things that i know? (and now i may be officially making myself sick...oh well, what is one to do when feeling joyful?) i love his style and his content. his poems express what i have often, hope, or aspire to feel. this one is my favorite. maybe it's because of my hopeless romantic side which dreams of emotions such as these for someone and from someone.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

Thursday, July 12, 2007

y ganan otra vez

hoy es el dia de espanol para este blog. p ienso que es apropiado porque ayer ganaron mis muchachos argentinos otra vez. una vez mas, van al final de la copa america contra brazil. como siempre, espero que puedan ganar (porque todos saben sobre la rivalidad de los dos paises). vamos, vamos, argentina! que viva el albiceleste!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

one of those days

do you ever have those moments when you wish you could trade your life in for a new one? it's not necessarily due to any particular aspect of your life, but just an instance where you feel stagnant, alone, and maybe just indifferent. today is one of those days; one of those moments.

of course, if you asked me what i would trade it in for, i couldn't answer. i have no idea. just something new. something exciting. something more meaningful than what i feel i have today.

but give me another 5 minutes, another hour, or another day and i would turn around and tell you how perfect my life is-how it is simple, but complete. i'm often amused at the contradiction i feel i have become. so many times i am sure that i have it all together, that i know exactly who i am and where i'm headed. and then "one of those days" sidles in right next to me, throwing my life off kilter. c'est la vie...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

and it begins...

so i figured if everyone else on this green earth can blog, why can't i? i'm not quite sure what this blog will be for, but i love the idea of flying by the seat of my pants and having full control of everything and anything that goes on in this one little webpage. i may even blog in english and in espanol if i feel so inspired. ahh, the possibilities are endless. i love when the world is my oyster.