while stuck in traffic on the 880 this week, i continually found myself in the "wrong" lane. and what i mean by the "wrong" lane is the one that never moves. you know how it is, you're rolling along when of a sudden, your lane comes to a standstill. the reason? if only i had the answer, especially as i watch all the vehicles around me zoom on by. how is this possible i ask myself? so, cautiously (or maybe should i say aggressively?) i veer into what i believe, is now the "correct" lane, the lane of my dreams, the one that will allow me to finally reach my destination. low and behold once again i find myself in the "wrong" lane.
suddenly, the lane i escaped from, the one that magically had stood still while the rest of the driving world moved on, began creeping forward. what? how? do i dare attempt revisiting my old lane? it now looks so appealing and exactly what i need. so i do it. i get over. what happened next should come as no surprise. i am once again standing still.
so why discuss this mundane, fairly daily event for most commuters? because i truly believe this is a metaphor for my life.
and i'm not pitying myself or think my life is terrible, because it isn't, but i do believe that i am always in the "wrong lane" in a number of aspects of my life. i just can't get things quite right. i feel as if i am going along, enjoying my ride, heading to my destination at a good steady pace, and then out of nowhere, i am once again stopped. it wasn't expected so i decide: maybe i can try another "lane?" maybe it will keep me moving? but it never does. it's frustrating. it's annoying. it doesn't matter what i do, because it's always the same...an interesting epiphany.
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