most would assume that if you are going to be bold enough to keep a blog for the entire world wide web to access, that you would consider yourself a fairly accomplished and prolific writer. according to some, i may not fit into either one of those categories...
now, i am not writing this in order to receive obligatory pity accolades from friends who want to stroke my ego. i am writing to be honest. i am writing a bit out of wounded pride and pain. i am writing to express opinions and thoughts on the actual act and art of writing.
i wander through the sea of endless books at our mega stores such as barnes and noble and borders, perusing and aware of the fact that i often pause to think, " how did some of these writers ever get published?"
the conclusion i have come to is that anyone can write. you may not be very good. technique may be weak. emotions may fall short. you may have strong conventions, but bore the hell out of people because you are much too verbose. the categories go on and on, however the conclusion is always the same. we are all in one way or another, writers.
so i will continue with my blog. i march forward with dreams of publishing a great work someday, one that people will read and feel moved and connected to, feel as if someone out there has at one point understood a thought or feeling that has crossed their mind. that is great writing. one that touches. one that connects. one that makes our mundane and at times heavy lives a bit lighter, and free, as words are ingested into our souls.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
short and sweet
so on this day of supposed "love," i wanted to share a few thoughts. i love love. silly and trite as it may sound, it's true. when so many others feel alone and sorry for their own state of affairs on this day, i revel in the sappy love songs, the mad scurrying of men buying flowers, and the pounds and pounds of chocolate.
love is a gift that we all take for granted. loving brings true joy. loving others fills our hearts as nothing else can.
as the years pass by, love continues to teach me new lessons. the ability to love, though painful at times, is priceless and it excavates room in the heart for more love.
so i send out my love to all with some of my favorite quotes on the matter. happy valentines day!
love is a gift that we all take for granted. loving brings true joy. loving others fills our hearts as nothing else can.
as the years pass by, love continues to teach me new lessons. the ability to love, though painful at times, is priceless and it excavates room in the heart for more love.
so i send out my love to all with some of my favorite quotes on the matter. happy valentines day!
“i have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.-mother teresa
"life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved."-victor hugo
"the important thing was to love rather than to be loved."-w. somerset maugham
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
"in all things it is better to hope than to despair"-goethe
i've been working on this post now for a few days and the words just don't seem to be coming out quite right. here i go any how...
hope has been on my mind quite a bit this past week for various reason. in actuality, it is probably what i think about the most overall. the reasons vary but overriding them all is that i am not as hopeful as i wish i could be and haven't learned how to implement real hope in my life.
i want to hope. especially now, in these very moments of my life, i need it more than i need anything else.
i believe in hope. i draw strength from the hope others have for themselves and for me. i find myself trying to be like abraham "who against hope believed in hope."
not sure how it all works, but have to trust that it does...that hope actually is"believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary."
so i move forward. "plowing in hope" as paul said. i work and ready the soil of my heart and soul for what is to come next, trying to use my eyes of faith.
i leave you with one of many wise words spoken by the beloved elder neal a. maxwell:
"However, enduring and submitting are not passive responses at all, but instead are actually more like being braced sufficiently to report for advanced duties, while carrying—meekly and victoriously—bruises from the previous frays....Therefore, whatever our humble furrow, we are to 'plow in hope.'"
hope has been on my mind quite a bit this past week for various reason. in actuality, it is probably what i think about the most overall. the reasons vary but overriding them all is that i am not as hopeful as i wish i could be and haven't learned how to implement real hope in my life.
i want to hope. especially now, in these very moments of my life, i need it more than i need anything else.
i believe in hope. i draw strength from the hope others have for themselves and for me. i find myself trying to be like abraham "who against hope believed in hope."
not sure how it all works, but have to trust that it does...that hope actually is"believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary."
so i move forward. "plowing in hope" as paul said. i work and ready the soil of my heart and soul for what is to come next, trying to use my eyes of faith.
i leave you with one of many wise words spoken by the beloved elder neal a. maxwell:
"However, enduring and submitting are not passive responses at all, but instead are actually more like being braced sufficiently to report for advanced duties, while carrying—meekly and victoriously—bruises from the previous frays....Therefore, whatever our humble furrow, we are to 'plow in hope.'"
Monday, January 28, 2008
"we thank thee o god for a prophet..."
as i have been contemplating the passing of our beloved prophet, president gordon b. hinckley, i cannot help but feel awe and gratitude. i feel privileged that my formative years coincided with his presidency. so much of who i have become has been influenced by this gracious, kind, and loving man who taught me to always strive to be better, kinder, softer and most of all, to not be ashamed of my testimony of the lord.
i feel honored to have learned from him.
and though he will be missed terribly, i smile to think of his happy return home, to his wife and his god.
and so today in my heart i sing, "we thank thee o god for a prophet, to guide us in these latter days..."
Saturday, December 22, 2007
un poco mas...
ahh! it's the day and i am so behind. how my birthday got here so quickly it is beyond me, but here i am, 30 years old. so here come the rest and be ready because this one will be long.
12. technology. i have seen the exponential growth of technology in my lifetime. i remember the days before cell phones and email. and now i seem to not be able to survive without instant messages, texts, and emails. i love that i can be in contact with all the important people in my life almost instantaneously.
13. communication. i believe it makes the world go round. and though at times it is not my strongest talent, i try my best to let people know how i feel. it is what ties us together and draws us close to one another.
14. gifts. and i don't mean presents necessarily, but more of gifts of love, time, talents, the spirit, kindness, etc. i have been abundantly blessed with more gifts than i deserve.
15. guilty pleasures. though these are not meaningful i enjoy having them. whether it is a particular tv show, movie, magazine, song, or any other form of "entertainment" i am grateful for them.
16. art. i have discussed this in a previous post. very few things move me as much as this. to have beauty created in various forms, the contrast of light and dark, shapes, colors, mediums. i love it all.
17. school. this is pretty much my life. i am an educator through and through. although at times when i am challenged i want to quit, i know that i could never really desire anything else.
18.the ocean. there is something about staring out into that vast expanse and feeling so small yet a part of something greater.
19. new beginnings. i am so grateful to be able to make changes and start anew.
20. hope. i think my life would be unlivable without hope. even when life and experience dictates that i should let go of my hope, i don't. and for that i am grateful.
21. prayer. i could write many things on this topic but worry they would come out sounding trite instead of sincere. i am humbled by the opportunity and ability to communicate with god.
23. music apparently most of the things i am grateful for also happen to be my passions. so with that i ask you to see "passions" and "in a little while..." for more on this topic.
24. simple pleasures. i've feel that i have been blessed with the ability to enjoy the simple things in life. a calvin and hobbes comic, a funny commercial, seeing the sun shine through the clouds, flowers growing on the side of the freeway, a good parking spot-the list could go on. these i consider my simple pleasures.
25. home. in the literal as well as figurative sense. i've been blessed to live in comfortable, clean, warm homes my entire life. i know this is something i take for granted when so many in this world lack a roof over their heads.
26. sadness. this may seem odd to most as something one would be grateful for, but this emotion is so raw and deep. there is a beauty to it that i have always felt. i find it in books i read, music i listen to, or moments in my life that have captured that beautiful tragic sadness.
27. contrast. light and dark. despair and joy. love and hate. hot and cold. i appreciate the contrast that is found in the world. i love it because of the perspective and hope it has brought into my life.
28. memories. i have also blogged about this in the past. i feel so lucky to be able to relive a moment, day, week just by my memories. i love the reminders they give when my hope does wane. or the smile they bring to my face as i look back on moments, whether fondly or with a bit of sadness, and see what i have learned and how i have grown.
29. virtue/purity. i appreciate the concept of being clean, of being whole and pure. not only that, but also the virtuous and pure objects, concepts, ideas, and people that i am able to interact with.
30. gospel of jesus christ. this probably should have been first on the last, but somehow it seems fitting to place it at the 30 spot. at the culmination of it all. as i thought about why i didn't place it earlier i realized that it is because everything i have in my life, everything on this list, i have because of this gospel, because i have been blessed with the truth. to know of a plan, to know of a god who loves me and cares for me, to know of the mercy and renewal that come through the atonement of jesus christ. i am fortunate that the gospel has managed to seep into all areas of my life. i'm not sure how it happened, but hope to continue on the same path.
12. technology. i have seen the exponential growth of technology in my lifetime. i remember the days before cell phones and email. and now i seem to not be able to survive without instant messages, texts, and emails. i love that i can be in contact with all the important people in my life almost instantaneously.
13. communication. i believe it makes the world go round. and though at times it is not my strongest talent, i try my best to let people know how i feel. it is what ties us together and draws us close to one another.
14. gifts. and i don't mean presents necessarily, but more of gifts of love, time, talents, the spirit, kindness, etc. i have been abundantly blessed with more gifts than i deserve.
15. guilty pleasures. though these are not meaningful i enjoy having them. whether it is a particular tv show, movie, magazine, song, or any other form of "entertainment" i am grateful for them.
16. art. i have discussed this in a previous post. very few things move me as much as this. to have beauty created in various forms, the contrast of light and dark, shapes, colors, mediums. i love it all.
17. school. this is pretty much my life. i am an educator through and through. although at times when i am challenged i want to quit, i know that i could never really desire anything else.
18.the ocean. there is something about staring out into that vast expanse and feeling so small yet a part of something greater.
19. new beginnings. i am so grateful to be able to make changes and start anew.
20. hope. i think my life would be unlivable without hope. even when life and experience dictates that i should let go of my hope, i don't. and for that i am grateful.
21. prayer. i could write many things on this topic but worry they would come out sounding trite instead of sincere. i am humbled by the opportunity and ability to communicate with god.
23. music apparently most of the things i am grateful for also happen to be my passions. so with that i ask you to see "passions" and "in a little while..." for more on this topic.
24. simple pleasures. i've feel that i have been blessed with the ability to enjoy the simple things in life. a calvin and hobbes comic, a funny commercial, seeing the sun shine through the clouds, flowers growing on the side of the freeway, a good parking spot-the list could go on. these i consider my simple pleasures.
25. home. in the literal as well as figurative sense. i've been blessed to live in comfortable, clean, warm homes my entire life. i know this is something i take for granted when so many in this world lack a roof over their heads.
26. sadness. this may seem odd to most as something one would be grateful for, but this emotion is so raw and deep. there is a beauty to it that i have always felt. i find it in books i read, music i listen to, or moments in my life that have captured that beautiful tragic sadness.
27. contrast. light and dark. despair and joy. love and hate. hot and cold. i appreciate the contrast that is found in the world. i love it because of the perspective and hope it has brought into my life.
28. memories. i have also blogged about this in the past. i feel so lucky to be able to relive a moment, day, week just by my memories. i love the reminders they give when my hope does wane. or the smile they bring to my face as i look back on moments, whether fondly or with a bit of sadness, and see what i have learned and how i have grown.
29. virtue/purity. i appreciate the concept of being clean, of being whole and pure. not only that, but also the virtuous and pure objects, concepts, ideas, and people that i am able to interact with.
30. gospel of jesus christ. this probably should have been first on the last, but somehow it seems fitting to place it at the 30 spot. at the culmination of it all. as i thought about why i didn't place it earlier i realized that it is because everything i have in my life, everything on this list, i have because of this gospel, because i have been blessed with the truth. to know of a plan, to know of a god who loves me and cares for me, to know of the mercy and renewal that come through the atonement of jesus christ. i am fortunate that the gospel has managed to seep into all areas of my life. i'm not sure how it happened, but hope to continue on the same path.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
7 more days...
until the big day (my birthday,not something else:)
life took a turn for the "busy" this past month including illnesses and just work and holiday regularities. so now i find myself with only 7 days until i'm 30 and 24 more things to write about. all of a sudden i feel quite a bit of pressure so...here i go...
7. trials. most will either think that i am insane or attempting to be uber righteous/religiously cheesy. but with all the honesty in my heart i can say that i am grateful for the hardships i have faced. granted, there have been few (which also makes me grateful!)but i know without a doubt that i am becoming the person i need to be through them. i have to be compelled to be humble. i have to have my heart broken so that i am also contrite in spirit and willing to let others help me. it is not something i am proud of, but i am grateful that those less than pleasant moments come, so that i can change in the necessary ways.
8. health. also very cliche, this i know, but i cannot imagine what it would be like to live a life with burdened with disease. i see the struggles and amazing strength of those around me who have to fight constant illness or pains that are out of their control-it is humbling. i get an occasional cold/flu etc., but am overall healthy. all my limbs are accounted for. i see. i hear. i feel. i speak. i think and process. i take all of these for granted much too much and so here, today, i remember how lucky i am for physical well-being.
9. great writings. this is nothing new. i appreciate great lyrics, books, articles, essays, poems, you name it. from emerson and thoreau to hugo, rand, and foer. their words have become a part of who i am.
10-laughter. i adore silliness. laughter is the route i choose to travel on when life gets a little too tough. i have been blessed with family members and friends who have fantastic senses of humor and who i believe are some of the funniest people i will ever know. there is nothing like the laughter of little children or laughing so hard that you are crying and gasping for breath.
11. beauty. i may be too broad with some of these and definitely feel as if i am repeating items from past blog entries. oh well...i have been given the gift of seeing beauty in everything. i have to be careful when i drive because i'll notice the way the sun shines through the clouds or the random flowers growing on the side of the road. art, leaves, faces, buildings, scenery: i am fond of them all.
life took a turn for the "busy" this past month including illnesses and just work and holiday regularities. so now i find myself with only 7 days until i'm 30 and 24 more things to write about. all of a sudden i feel quite a bit of pressure so...here i go...
7. trials. most will either think that i am insane or attempting to be uber righteous/religiously cheesy. but with all the honesty in my heart i can say that i am grateful for the hardships i have faced. granted, there have been few (which also makes me grateful!)but i know without a doubt that i am becoming the person i need to be through them. i have to be compelled to be humble. i have to have my heart broken so that i am also contrite in spirit and willing to let others help me. it is not something i am proud of, but i am grateful that those less than pleasant moments come, so that i can change in the necessary ways.
8. health. also very cliche, this i know, but i cannot imagine what it would be like to live a life with burdened with disease. i see the struggles and amazing strength of those around me who have to fight constant illness or pains that are out of their control-it is humbling. i get an occasional cold/flu etc., but am overall healthy. all my limbs are accounted for. i see. i hear. i feel. i speak. i think and process. i take all of these for granted much too much and so here, today, i remember how lucky i am for physical well-being.
9. great writings. this is nothing new. i appreciate great lyrics, books, articles, essays, poems, you name it. from emerson and thoreau to hugo, rand, and foer. their words have become a part of who i am.
10-laughter. i adore silliness. laughter is the route i choose to travel on when life gets a little too tough. i have been blessed with family members and friends who have fantastic senses of humor and who i believe are some of the funniest people i will ever know. there is nothing like the laughter of little children or laughing so hard that you are crying and gasping for breath.
11. beauty. i may be too broad with some of these and definitely feel as if i am repeating items from past blog entries. oh well...i have been given the gift of seeing beauty in everything. i have to be careful when i drive because i'll notice the way the sun shines through the clouds or the random flowers growing on the side of the road. art, leaves, faces, buildings, scenery: i am fond of them all.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
13 going on 30 continues...
so i have some extra time on my hands, and since i have been contemplating the aspects of my life that i have been grateful for in the last 29 years, here are some more:
5. love. i have been blessed with this virtue on so many levels. my parents and family members love me unconditionally; a gift so many lack in this world. friends that have come, gone, or stayed also have provided care and warmth in my life.
though i have not had "outwardly visual" talents bestowed upon me, i do believe i have been given the talent of love. it may sound odd to call the virtue of "love" a talent, but i believe, in my case, it is. i try to give love to all those in my sphere. despite the fact that i am definitely not perfect at it, i am willing and able to love. though at times it is not returned, i'm convinced that is the only way to live; the only way to feel alive.
6. forgiveness. many have chosen to forgive my shortcomings and flaws; my moments of weakness and my lack of self control.
though it is not something that comes easily to me, i have been given the opportunity to forgive those who have caused pain or sorrow in my life. i know that growth occurs each time.
ultimately i am most indebted to the forgiveness that is bestowed by my savior jesus christ. it is humbling, wonderful, and beyond my comprehension.
apparently i thought i had more to say tonight than i do. on that note, i'm off for now, with, as always, more thoughts to come...
5. love. i have been blessed with this virtue on so many levels. my parents and family members love me unconditionally; a gift so many lack in this world. friends that have come, gone, or stayed also have provided care and warmth in my life.
though i have not had "outwardly visual" talents bestowed upon me, i do believe i have been given the talent of love. it may sound odd to call the virtue of "love" a talent, but i believe, in my case, it is. i try to give love to all those in my sphere. despite the fact that i am definitely not perfect at it, i am willing and able to love. though at times it is not returned, i'm convinced that is the only way to live; the only way to feel alive.
6. forgiveness. many have chosen to forgive my shortcomings and flaws; my moments of weakness and my lack of self control.
though it is not something that comes easily to me, i have been given the opportunity to forgive those who have caused pain or sorrow in my life. i know that growth occurs each time.
ultimately i am most indebted to the forgiveness that is bestowed by my savior jesus christ. it is humbling, wonderful, and beyond my comprehension.
apparently i thought i had more to say tonight than i do. on that note, i'm off for now, with, as always, more thoughts to come...
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